Happy White History Month!

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Consider this my audition for the Daily Show.

For our April Fool’s edition, I wondered, “What if I wrote a piece about white people the way most mainstream outlets write about us? What if whiteness was something you had to overcome to succeed? What would that sound like?”

This is what I came up with:

 

“They’re 80 percent of congress, 86 percent of Fortune 500 CEOS, 94 percent of Oscar voters and 93 percent of Oscar winners. They invented lightbulbs, airplanes, fake butter and the internet. They founded institutions of higher learning all over the country. They ended slavery.

Despite all of these achievements, the Non-Hispanic white population is shrinking every year. But just who are white people? Latino USA producer Brenda Salinas went to Times Square to find out more about the history of these proud people.”